Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. - 1 Corinthians 15:58

I feel compelled to write about this verse.

You see my dear friends, I have witnessed how God can turn someone's failures into victories. I have witnessed and experienced how God turned my failures into victories. Let me tell you my testimony.

For 6 months, I have dimmed my light. For one semester at school. During the first two starting months of classes, I still had it. Little by little, little did I know that I was already being lured into a trap. It was a slow death. Problems after problems, struggles after struggles. Then came one time when I stumbled because of not fixing my eyes on Jesus. I started avoiding those people who hurt me so much, sadly, those were people whom I looked up to. It was a domino effect.

They stumble, I stumbled.

Everything started crashing in when I began spending less hours with God. I lost spiritual strength. I said, "Hey, if Christians are like this, I might as well quit being one." Moments with God turned into moments with sin. Finally, I lost all my defenses when I stopped keeping in touch with God. I gravitated with my own strength. Believing in my own wisdom, I convinced myself I could do it without God on my side. I could excel, I could manage, I could gain esteem. I knew it was no longer me who was taking control but I ignored it. I liked it. I wanted it. I've chosen it. A choice for that matter.

I kept running in life with an empty heart. Henceforth, I conceded into substitutes. Apparently, these substitutes seemed to satisfy me for awhile. I kept on coming back to them from time to time, to gather a fake strength that I could use to comfort myself. I came to a point where I wanted to leave home when things weren't going any better. I came to that verge where I wanted to just take down my own life. I wasted my life on temporary things, on things that would eventually use me up more.

Despite the happenings, I was still being dragged to church at Sundays. However, there were Sundays where I missed attending, and when I didn't, I was just physically present. Worshiping God through songs... yes. I felt His presence. The songs, they convicted me. But I was in a very strong war. I was telling God, 'I want to be with you, but I can't give this up. I want to stay here longer...'

There were times where I would just cry my heart out to God, although I wasn't really communicating with Him. It was a cry of blaming, of anguish, of hatred, of confusion. I didn't want to come back to Him yet. I wanted to explore more of this life, to delve into deeper traps, to get myself tangled in the net of the enemy. And I did get what I wished for.


One evening, while looking into the mirror, I could see an empty girl with empty eyes. I could see her empty soul, and her empty heart. I looked like a living dead. A dead girl walking. I looked evil. Part of me wanted to cry, but a part of me argues and says it was better off this way. My hatred for those people who condemned me for lies grew even more. The anger consumed me. I was a monster.

This kept on for months.

But my friends, I am not here to tell you about how destroyed I was that time. I am here to tell you how much GOD turned my life around.

God was still faithful despite me being a rebel. He showed himself in a vision.

It was noon that time, Saturday. I went back to sleep because I was still sleepy. I had a vision in a dream. Exact scenario. Exact location. I battled with the enemy in my dream. He appeared as a very beautiful lady in my dream. In my dream, he was wearing a long black gown. Seducing. Pretty seducing. He was praying to the other side of the world for me not to escape from him. I was pretending to be half asleep. However, he knew I was playing with him. He walked to me, caressed my face. I caressed him back, I told him lies. I told him he was beautiful, I told him I wanted him. I told him I belonged to him.

But that's because I wanted to deceive him so I could escape after. I wanted to make him believe that I was already his. But came God's grace. The enemy shouted and he himself told me, "Liar! You still have Him in your heart!" I could remember escaping. He wouldn't allow me to. I was still in my room. After wrestling with him, I finally had the chance to get out. I went out of my room, directing me to thousands of stairs. It was spiral. I kept on going down, away from him. He was chasing after me. I was contacting a friend. I called her. I said, "I'm on my way to the cemetery."

That vision was purely God's word, speaking to me. I couldn't forget the line of the enemy there, "You still have Him in your heart!" - This is the perfect example of Christ's love. He never left my heart. He was still there even though I had a lot of attempts to completely erase Him from that space. He was still in my heart, residing. It brought tears to my eyes. I woke up with a heart that was ready to repent. A throbbing heart. I ran downstairs to tell some of my church friends about it, I told them in tears. There was a loud thunder afterwards. It was really a sure sign that God wanted me back.

My friends, I am here to tell you that we can never deceive the enemy. If you're playing with fire you should stop. You can never play with fire because it will always consume you. I have learned my lesson and now here I am to testify that God has turned my failures into a series of victories.

October 28, 2011 - I decided to re-commit my life to Jesus Christ. God made wonders in my life. He used my bad circumstances so He could turn something good out of it. He did. I have now started a campus ministry at school together with a friend of mine. I have shown my light to my classmates by confessing to them everything bad that I did and that I shouldn't have done. I talked to them, telling them that I am going to change. I changed. All because of God's grace. The most amazing part is, I have this friend who had turned his back away from Christ for some period of years now, and because of my failure that has turned into victory that I have shared to him, I believe that God has used it to make him think. Good news is, last saturday, he re-commited his life to Jesus! And yes, I am overwhelmed with great joy! I have been praying for him since first year college, and now he came back to Jesus!

Another good news is, I shared Christ's goodness during my 18th to everyone who were invited! They listened to God's word and some of my relatives who weren't saved cried. God has touched their hearts! There were friends who told me that they were blessed with the word I shared and that's because GOD IS GREAT! It wasn't me. It was God, using me! Now, my classmates know that I am a Christian. That I have Jesus in me. That God is great and good and amazing!

Another one is, I was invited to speak into a small group. All boys. I spoke about "DATING NON CHRISTIANS" and I thank God for using me in such new ways! I've never spoken to a group of boys before... and here He is, using me in another level because I've turned away from my sin!

And lastly, tomorrow will be another good news. I will be speaking in our small group, and I will be talking again about how good God is.

Thinking back, I am so amazed with His love, His grace, His unending mercy. If you think I'm righteous, no think again, it's my God who is righteous. If you think I'm strong, never, God is my strength. I am in no position to boast about anything because I wouldn't survive without God's hand that upholds me. Here's one thing I want to share, if you think you'll never be moved or shaken, think again... you can never tell. That's why we always need to stay on guard by keeping our hearts close to God. When our hearts are close to Him, we are always protected. We are always safe. Never compromise. Never play with fire. It will burn you. But if ever you are, and you had, God's the best Fireman.

He's always on the rescue.

Repent while you still have the time.

I pray that God would use this testimony to bless you. Amen.