My, I'm so busy doing stuffs last past weeks. Anyway, God is GREAT! He is so GOOD! This story is for Him, and yes I will submit this story tomorrow in a reality writing contest, so here it is, read on!
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It's A Matter Of Choice
I hid beneath the sheets of my bed, and I gave my pillow a tight embrace as I had a flashback about the painful past experience. "1 year contract..." I whispered myself with tears as I said this to myself as I reminisced the memories that we've shared. I guess you are wondering right now what I meant by the '1-year-contract' thing, well it's just like this. Let me tell you a story.
There was this girl named Gee who was just a simple one. She was a girl who loved God so much, and not to mention her drumsticks too. She was a combination of a sanguine person and a melancholic one. She probably might be your friend, your close friend, your best friend, or she could be an enemy to your eyes, or either that one that you've bumped in while you were in a hurry to be on time for your next subject class.
Well, after all, that's not the real story deal here, let's go straight to the main point.
She was caught up in between, when Gee, at such young age, fell in love with a guy, named Gab. Gab, on the other hand, was Gee's suitor.
They both met in a Christian Leadership, and then eventually, they became close friends, and then just one day, they were lovers.
Gee thought, he'd be her last. She had never felt something like that before. She never loved anyone like that before. But then, one day, God had to take him away from her. After the happy days came endless night-filled tears, and depressing moments followed. She gave him up for God. She realized at one point that, she's starting to give more attention to Gab than to God. And by the time that she realized that, she decided to end the relationship.
"How about a contract for 365 days? Oh,no.. Nevermind." Gee told Gab and gave him a cold stare. She shrugged her shoulders, and then she looked the other way and sighed. "I guess, we really need to move on now."
"But I'd prefer to spend the rest of my life with you, Gee." Gee was struck by that line. She stood there frozen before Gab. She shook her head, and then she then she took a step backward.
But, that's not yet the end of everything. Gab was so persistent, that he even asked Gee for another chance, for them to be together once again. Gab even told Gee, that he would want to borrow Gee from God, but definitely, without any hesitations or second thoughts, Gee gave him a 'no' as an answer. She loves God more than she loves him, and then she realized that she needed to vent out a choice. So, even though it broke her heart, when she turned him down for like, million times already, she had this inner peace and joy--she knew by that time, that she will be doing the right thing, that was when she told him that she loves God more than he loves Gab, and she meant that.
"NO, no.. Sorry Gab.. I love God more than I love you... I need to.. to go.." After she said that, she left Gab but as she was walking away, she heard Gab hollering.
"Gee! Just, give me a year... GEE!! I want to borrow you from God... Please!!" She pretended that she didn't hear him, but deep inside she knew that she really heard it right. Borrow her from God? He's sick.
After having the courage to finally tell him that big NO, she went home with traces of tears sliding from the edges of her eyes on her face.
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Gee there, as you've read above, is no other than me. Yeah, Gab asked for a year for us to be together once again. But, I gave him a big NO. I sat right up on my bed and then I leaned against the wall behind me (that's because my bed was placed on one corner, and eventually, there was a wall on that corner).
I looked up at the ceiling, and then I smiled, and I prayed. "Lord, I'm glad that you gave me the strength to say no to him. Though it was really really hard. My heart right now is rejoicing, because You have made me glad even though I am broken right now but I know this won't last any longer. I find rest in You. And I thank You, for teaching me a lesson..."
I may be hurting right now, but God will heal this PAIN. He doesn't despise a BROKEN AND A CONTRITE heart. I could be broken by now, but hey, I'm glad I am. If I wasn't hurt by now, maybe I'll hurt even more in the future if I didn't end that relationship. And let me tell you this. Here I am, I have an inner peace. I have an inner joy. I feel so happy and free, isn't that amazing? After moments of darkness, finally right now, I'm back in the Light. Here I am, in my brokenness--COMPLETE. God makes me complete.
Giving him up was not easy, but it was a matter of choice. Everyday, we make choices. And we sure need to be careful on the choices that we make. Sometimes, before making the right choice, we need to be hurt--for us to realize our mistakes. But why wait for a stone to first fall on your head in order for you to make the right move when you can do the right thing in the first place? But sometimes, it will take us a long time after we could really stand up and say that we already have the final descision. And sometimes, we confuse ourselves, trying to make ourselves believe that we did the right thing, but then at the end, we'll realize that we made a wrong choice.
And yes, there is beauty in brokenness. Sometimes, we need to be broken, inorder for us to be repaired--for us to be better.
The bottomline is, in every desicions that we make, we need to ask wisdom and strength from God. Because, believe me, in my situation, if it wasn't His strength that supported me the moment that he asked for another chance, I sure am that probably by now, Gab and I were back and are still together--leaving God behind and ignoring His voice and lending Him a deaf ear.
But no, God will always make a way to bring back a lost sheep to it's Shepherd, even though that sheep were lost for a long period of time.
