Battle Cry.

post by: gee

Before I start telling you the whole story here, I would like to open up a prayer dedicated to the Lord.

Lord, I am so sorry. I want to be honest. I`ve been too busy with myself that I even failed to keep posting entries here and writing up there in my own hand-written Prayer Journal. I am so sorry. The previous weeks, I`ve been pretty silent to you. I tried to deceive myself by saying that You were the one who`s silent... but just this point of time, I realized that I was the one who`s silent. I WAS THE SILENT ONE, Jesus, not You. I am very sorry. I broke your heart again, I made You cry, Lord. I am very sorry. Thank you for the forgiveness, Lord. Take me deeper in love, Jesus...

Lately, I didn`t understand what was happening to me. Problems came in and out of my way and I never had a good day in any of those weeks that time. I was very fragile, I was very weak--I even thought of giving up already. It was as if God never heard any of my cries... but that was when I realized that those cries, were SILENT cries...

GOD WANTS US TO TALK TO HIM,
NOT TO TALK SILENTLY--BUT TO TALK.
See the difference?

I thought Jesus was silent to me, I thought God was silent to me... but it was me who was SILENT. There were 2 continuous Fridays where I`ve felt like... "I just don`t have the fire here in this heart anymore, Lord." I was worshipping, true--but mostly I should say, it gave birth to a worship in flesh--NOT FROM THE HEART, NOT FROM MY SPIRIT. Indeed, Jesus has taught me these past few weeks about what real worship is. Real worship, it comes from... here *points to the chest, near the heart portion*.

Real worship is not about us, it is not about how we look during our time of meeting with God, it is NOT and NEVER will be about US. We were meant to worship the Creator, who is God. We were NEVER meant to worship the Creator`s Creations, who are our idols, the stuffs that takes the most of our time, who removes our focus from God--and indirectly, putting the attention on it--not to God.

Back to the story. I was just there, standing, worshiping, singing along with the congregation--but deep inside me was a unresponsive heart. Then, one night, God talked to me, and then I realized and I missed what we 'used' to be. God made me recall everything--why? Maybe because, I was in the verge of giving up, and I was nearly an inch away from giving up.

But that night, He told me that He is more than willing to help me with the heavy loads that I was carrying. He even asked me to give them all to him--and He even offered to carry me. I was moved into tears, thinking how much I have neglected him during those days... but that caused me to break down in awe, to be broken and to result in humbleness. I felt like God embraced me that time, trying to hush me down... I felt like a little child crying over a lollipop that was taken away from me.

The main shot here are these words:

He told me that He is more than willing to help me with the heavy loads that I was carrying. He even asked me to give them all to him--and He even offered to carry me.

You see? God is more than willing. I encourage you, to never give up. Trust in the Lord. Don`t look upon the circumstances--they are always meant to test your endurance, your faith, your trust, your love for God--and everything. Are you facing a very hard struggle by this point of time? Just give it all down & break them at the feet of Jesus. Our God is willing to carry us--even those heavy loads that we have behind our backs and on our shoulders. He will CARRY YOU.